I Swear I'm not Drunk Officer
by fanfictioner22
Summary: The title says it all. One-shot.


Twenty minutes. Just twenty minutes and Neji's shift would be over. He looked at his once hot coffee and took a sip, even though he hated the beloved liquid cold. Neji was just trying to pass the last minutes of his awfully boring patrol when his little radio went on.

" _Officer Hyuuga, there has been a call from Madison Street. Can you check it out… please?"_

It was obvious that the last word was forced. The blonde wasn't one for kind pleasantries.

Neji picked the black box and spoke to the speaker with an internal groan. "I'm on my way Temari. What's the occasion?"

He could almost see the blonde roll her eyes. _"The classic drunk that scared some innocent citizen."_

Paying attention to the road, Neji flicked his light on but kept the siren silent. No need to disturb the peace of the night. "How many?"

He heard shuffling of papers before the statistic voice responded, _"Only one. According to our witness, a young woman has been honking at the parked car in front of her while shouting, I quote, 'Move yar lazy ass, fuker! I'ave plazez to be!'"_ Temari snorted. _"Have fun with that."_

"You are aware that I can turn the wheel and go home, right? My shift is almost over."

" _Almost, genius boy doesn't mean it's over. Now get your shit together, duty calls."_

Thinking of what Temari could do with duty and everything in between, Neji took a turn and heard the loud honking before he set his sight on the car.

And what a car it was.

The old Chevrolet Truck with the brightest green to ever exist, so bright that Neji's eyes burned at the sight. There was a dent on the rear and the thick tires were coated with dry mud.

He got out of his car, adjusted his police hat and rapped at the window twice. At the sudden sound from her left, the young woman jumped and hit her head on the roof. She cursed colorfully while cradling her injured head with one hand. Unbuckling her seatbelt Tenten rolled down the window.

 _Shit_ , Tenten cursed once again, recognizing the pristine blue uniform _. Cop._

Okay, this wasn't one of her proudest moments in life, the brunette decided. She might have drunk a bit more than usual but beer wasn't _that alcoholic_ to stop her from driving home. Also, for some reason, the jackass at the front refused to fucking move and where the hell were her car keys? She just had them to open the doors and _ohh._

Yep, the keys were right outside, precisely, dangling from pale fingers behind the glass.

Careful not to slur, Tenten greeted her unexpected visitor. "Good Evenin, Officer." She saluted with a charming smile. Tenten was used to use her womanly charms to get out of shitty situations. And with the impending doom, Gai could unleash upon her with the possible criminal record was enough of a motivation. "What a lovely night." She leaned forward to read the name pinned on his shirt. _"Officer Hyuuga."_

"May I see your papers?"

The no-nonsense-in-my-watch- tone was strangely erotic in her cotton-filled ears. A closer look and Tenten decided that yeah, the man was definitely a looker plus he was totally her type. Was his hair as soft as it looked? Tenten wanted to find out badly. Also men in uniforms _. Hot._

"Of course _darling."_ She passed them, winking one eye lazily. The cop's lilac eyes narrowed slightly. Okay, maybe she was _a tiny_ bit on the drunker side.

"Miss Tenten Maito." He read out loud.

"One and only." Perhaps the last giggle was too much.

He sighed and gave the papers back. "Can you please get out of the car miss?" supposing that she could stand.

Neji opened the door because it was gentlemanly and the petite brunette stepped out. She was on the leaner side with the strangest twin buns since Temari's four pigtails. She flashed him another smile and Neji tried very hard not to notice _how pleasing to the eye_ she was.

Neji cleared his throat and willed himself not to be swayed from a pretty face. He had a job to do after all. And he was used to girls trying to get out of tickets with flirting. "Walk in a straight line, miss."

She carefully put one foot after another, glad that the cold of the night was sobering her quickly. Tenten turned and walked back towards the cop, adding a sensual sway to her hips with each step. She really didn't want to get a ticket.

"Look _, officer_ , I can walk a vertical line!" she winked again, noticing the faint blush on the cop's cheeks. Bingo! "Though I must say my skills in _horizontal lines_ aren't bad either. Maybe you'd like to check that out too?" her face was starting to hurt from how wide she was smiling. She'd be lying if she said she didn't enjoy the way officer Hyuuga glanced away from her. How cute.

Instead of taking up her offer Neji took out his handcuffs. He wasn't going to blush, no sir, he wasn't. "I'm afraid I will have to take you back to the station."

"Handcuffs?" she pouted softly. Though the glint in her brown eyes was nothing but innocent. "That's kinky _officer."_

Neji rolled his eyes and the woman's pout became more prominent. "Will you check my person for weapons?"

A small smile touched Neji's lips. "Are you in possession of any lethal arms, I should be aware of?"

The brunette's smirk turned positively evil. "I was notified that my rack had the power to cause heart attacks." Tenten knew she was going a bit too far for a possible record but the man was cute and she got good vibes from him.

Neji stepped forward, shaking his head and forced the wobbly woman's hands behind her back. Neji tried not to notice how she curved her back or the faint moan escaping her lips. For heavens, she was under the influence of booze! Then he locked her ridiculously green truck and half dragged the intoxicated brunette to the waiting police car.

"You have the right to remain silent Miss." Neji easily slid back to the police officer role as he got behind the wheel. Yeah, he could be professional.

Through the booze induced cloudiness, the brunette seemed baffled and she wiggled in the uncomfortable position in the back seat. "That's a first." She chirped pink lips curled in a suggestive smirk. "Guys usually like me more vocal. Oh, well. Police kinks I guess."

"How many drinks did you have?" Neji sputtered, finally breaking under the sexual innuendos. He turned the keys and the engine roared into life. "And watch your head." Too late. The brunette lost her balance and her forehead hit the back of the front seat.

"Miss Tenten, are you alright?"

"Maybe ya should check it out personally?" Tenten wiggled her eyebrows and the lopsided smirk wasn't affecting him. At all.

Neji exhaled very slowly. Control, he needed absolute control over his more southern parts. "It's obvious that you aren't harmed. Now, please answer, how much had you to drink?"

The brunette scrunched her pretty face. "This ain't the time to talk 'bout my failings as a person." At the unimpressed look, she sighed and answered honestly. "A few beers and a single glass of champagne. Though the alcohol has done nothing to diminish your attractiveness, _officer."_

Neji almost twitched at the blunt confession. Dear God, it must be illegal in at least ten states to purr so lewdly.

As if it just occurred to her, Tenten curiously asked, "Why am I taken away, _kind sir?_ The last time I checked bein' drop dead gorgeous wasn't _a crime_. Oh, and if it is, can we share a cell?"

"You just don't give up, do you?" Neji found the slight bantering/flirting nice and relaxing. "Disturbing public peace and also trying to drive while intoxicated."

"But the car wasn't even working." The brunette argued.

"That only because you forgot the keys outside." He replied coolly. "You're an adult. You must be aware of the perils of your actions."

Tenten hummed. Suddenly the leather seat seemed way too comfortable and officer Hyuuga's voice was a low baritone that sent wonderful chills down her spine. "Pretty words _, officer_." She yawned. "But not enough to go to the station. A slap on the wrist should be enough. Or a spank. I wouldn't mind either of them."

Neji's amused brow rose. He ignored the mental images her words brought to his mind. Clearing his throat loudly for some sort of control over his wildly beating heart, the Hyuuga tried to explain, "I could take you in for harassment."

"It's not harassment if the other party is enjoying it!" Tenten replied hotly and boldly from the alcohol in her veins. She was getting a clearer mind, slowly but surely. The hottie in the uniform wasn't making it easy, though. "Please, just let me off the hook for once! I promise I'll be a very good girl, you can reward me too!"

This time Neji did roll his eyes and kept an eye on her with the rear-view mirror. Seeing the adorable pout and flushed cheeks, Neji's resolve cracked and he gave in. "…Fine. What's your address? I'm not letting you drive in that state."

The gorgeous smile he got as a response warmed Neji's insides. Tenten's excited voice described her address, her high-spirited positive mood was contagious and Neji found himself smiling at her. He turned the police car over, shutting off the radiant blue and red situated on the roof.

"Thank you _officer -"_

"Neji."

" _Neji."_ She repeated. Damnable purring was back and even worse with his own name. "Pinky promises I won't drive again after going drinking. Although, I should thank my BFF's I ended up meeting with a cutie in blue who's also a bit kinky."

Neji's head fell on the wheel. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I have a few suggestions." Tenten pursued her lips. Her knitted brows suggested she was thinking something thoroughly and Neji feared the answer. "It's boring in here," Tenten said with finality.

"What ar- _Tenten!"_ the panicked shout was lost in the shrieking cacophony of the tires as Neji hit the brakes full on.

Before the Hyuuga could finish his sentence, Tenten had already leaned over and squeezed herself through the gap between the front seat and the car roof. Neji's fingers tightened on the wheel and he forced himself to keep his attention on the road and not on the curvy tanned body wiggling and arching and stretching and – not that Neji was looking of course. He wasn't.

The brunette managed to slide on the passenger seat and she buckled her seat belt with a relieved chuckle. "Well, that was fun."

"Was it really? I'm glad you enjoyed it!" the sarcasm wasn't lost. "That was highly dangerous. You should have warned me beforehand as I'm driving a vehicle."

Tenten only laughed as a response. "You're too stuck up, Neji. Learn to live a little." After that, she elbowed him with a wink. Neji just shook his head, getting used to the eccentric girl.

"Being stuck up is basically my job description." The police officer pulled over at a nice beige apartment building with a small garden at the front. The fresh scent of peonies wafted inside from the half rolled down window.

"Destination reached!" blurted Tenten. Maybe she wasn't as sober as she claimed to be. "Thanks for the escort _Officer Neji._ I'll be sleeping content knowing that a gallant here such as yourself is out patrolling the dark streets. But a robber might have broken in my flat. Would you be interested in conducting an _investigation?"_

"Something tells me that you'll ask me to investigate your bedroom first." Neji was going to either die from a sudden stroke or by having all his blood rush down.

"You never know." She stage whispered, mirthful brown eyes checking him out shamelessly. "Especially under my sheets is an excellent place to hide. Examine them thoroughly, please."

"Just get inside." Neji groaned. His head did fall on the steering wheel this time. Although his voice was like a defeated whine, a secretive smile was hidden by his long cascading hair.

Another chuckle, lovelier this time, echoed inside the car before Tenten leaned down and left a butterfly kiss on his temple. The contact was brief and the most innocent thing to ever happen that night, it managed to make Neji flush to the tip of his ears.

Before the flustered cop could come back to his own body, Tenten shoved a paper with her number on it between the long fingers clutching the leather wheel. A last wink used as a goodbye, she got out of the car and went inside with a joyful spring to her wobbling steps.

Neji stared at her retreating form for a long time, then, his gaze fell down at the innocent slip of paper. A chuckle built his way up his chest and the seemingly idiotic smile didn't leave his face until he went to bed.


End file.
